Saturday, April 18, 2009

FROM THE SMARK ALECKS ON THE INTERNET

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, darn, so that's why no one was at church today."

********************************************************************************


John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN)
for 6 am.

While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA )
was perking, he shaved with his
Electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new
electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his
calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today.

After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia)

and continued his search
for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and
fruitless day checking his Computer,
(Made In Malaysia),

John decided to relax for a while.
He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)

poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't find
a good paying job
in
AMERICA .

****************************************************************

A new supermarket opened in Topeka, KS. It has an automatic water mister to
keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell
of fresh rain. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you
experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department there is the
aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air
is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread
department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.


I do not buy toilet paper there any more.

**************************************************************************

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